Cricket Through the Ages
I spent the majority of Cricket Through the Ages with tears streaming down my face, laughing like a lunatic.
As my profoundly uncoordinated avatar windmilled toward its opponent, it occurred to me that this is the ideal sports game for people like me who don’t really follow sports.
History is Written by the Ridiculous
As the name suggests, Cricket Through the Ages is a historically accurate depiction of mankind’s quest to develop Cricket, the world’s greatest sport.
At least I’m pretty sure it’s historically accurate—as I said, I don’t really follow sports.
In any event, the various stages highlight how the game has evolved over time, from a simple brawl between consenting cavemen, to a melee of balls and bats, and further into the future where bespectacled aliens in Borat mankinis dismember each other with beam swords.
Also, some crab people show up? It’s interesting.
Better With Friends
The game allows you to play alone but you really shouldn’t. Cricket Through the Ages—like cricket itself, I’m told—is best played with friends.
With a pal on either side of your iPad, you tap, hold, and yell at the screen to motivate your on-screen minion. Depending on the stage, you’ll either fling objects, swing weapons, or…drink tea? It all sort of makes sense in the moment.
From the dulcet tones of the British voiceover to the colourful art style and entirely delightful physics, Cricket Through the Ages makes a wonderful impression and sustains it over the course of the entire game.
Shannon and I got through the whole thing in an hour or so, and that felt just right.
Once you finish it, you also unlock a sort of “random” mode that generates matches with unpredictable combinations of weapons, characters, and stages. It gives you something to come back to on those difficult days when all you want to do is fling a snake at a crab person who’s trying to brain you with a badminton racket. We’ve all been there.
Cricket Through the Ages is available on Apple Arcade, and in case I haven’t made it clear: I think you should go play this game.
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